"Radical acceptance means practicing a conscious effort to acknowledge and honor difficult situations and emotions. Fully accepting things as they are, instead of ignoring, avoiding, or wishing the situation were different, can be a critical step in moving through a difficult experience to experiencing more meaning." Psych Central
Perhaps the "acknowledging" part is where we get hung up? Perhaps if we understood Kairos time, it will take a load off our judgement and sense that things are happening to us, rather than for us. What if we start with, "I don't know the why, and that's OK"?
Kairos Time is the time and space in which the
truth will be delivered.
Aristotle
Kairos Time is qualitative time. It utilizes the right brain, and can be voluminous between dilemma and action, heartbreak and understanding. Chronos time is quantitative, left brain, and man-made time. It's linear like the clock we set our day to. Kairos time is Spirit/God's time and can be the space between the waves that hit the shore, 30 years, or maybe never in our lifetime. What matters is the truth will be delivered. Typically, it happens within our reach. It is the waiting in a state of curiosity where the adventure lies.
When we understand Kairos time, we discover that we can stretch the space between the "thing" that might trigger us into judgement, or hasty response. It takes practice to recognize the opportunity of Radical Acceptance, and when we do, we can breathe more time into that space. It's liminal space, and liminality gives us power and reminds us we have choice. When we drop into that space, and swim around, we can explore our body sensations, the suffering that might be going on with what or who it is that is triggering us, and our values of how we choose to live our life.
The results are truly alchemical when we practice liminality. Here is one practice that might appeal to you to build the capacity to slow down to the speed of awe and wonder about the space that is all around us where we have choice, which is everywhere we choose to look! It may surprise you or have no seemingly connected relevance, but give it a try! The results will benefit you in more ways that will delight you.
Practice Body Awareness and Listen In. If you don't already do this, now's a great time to start reconnecting with yourself. Stop five times a day to "Listen In." It only takes 15 seconds, unless you choose to take an hour! What is going on in your body? Where do you feel tension, popping, discomfort, comfort? Take a breath, lift the corners of my mouth in a sweet smile to yourself, lift your eyebrows and notice how that feels, and go on with your day. By the way, we use the restroom an average of five times a day, so that's a great and easy way to remind us to cultivate this healthy habit with this sweet treat to ourselves. And like any habit, our subconscious (liminal consciousness) takes over after a couple of weeks or sooner, so we needn't have to remind ourselves, it will do it naturally, and show up when we least expect it, like when faced with a trigger or dilemma. The more you practice, the wider that space in-between opens up where we find more agency, patience, and our power.
How do you recognize when Radical Acceptance is working? Unhealthy habits and relationships seamlessly drop away with grace. Some have reflected weight loss (because they are more practiced in paying attention to their intake, and also quality the of food they choose.) I have also heard (and experienced myself) more and more synchronicities almost daily. Some have shared an immediate awareness of a "gut feeling" when something or someone new comes into their life that will not be their integrity to maintain a relationship with. Also relating to integrity, another has commented that her agency is more clear because she finds herself more in her own integrity and feels more in her agency.
It is a mighty power-full and simple practice that leads to discovery and disclosure, making Radical Acceptance as natural and comfortable as our new habit of Listening In.
Sande Hart
Author of The Liminal Odyssey, The Alchemical Power of the Spaces In-Between
Founder of The Global Woman's Village
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